The comic makes an excellent point... but here are some random facts to spoil the fun:
I bloody wish.
In today's competition based market place, you can't privatise a system where competition is impossible. It just can't work.
When I take a train on the Glen Waverley line, I have to go Connex. I have no choice. Connex have a monopoly on my train line. In any other industry this would be illegal. Thus the government has to control Connex and their pricing in such a way that Connex cannot afford to run.
It's the same for the Melbourne's trams and buses. At least in order for two bus companies to patrol the same network they don't need two tracks...
...but on top of all of it, Melbourne has a ticketing system that allows travel on any bus, train or tram for either two hours, all day, weekly, monthly or yearly within one or more of three zones. You buy one ticket, you travel on any transport you want.
This made sense when they were all government controlled as part of the MET. But not now. How is the money from fairs split up? In theory a bus line could run all day, carry thousands of passengers and yet collection no money in fairs.
It is most likely a calculation based on ticket validation. But you don't need to validate your ticket more than once. There is no need to validate it when you get on a tram, it is only required in trains to get through the bariers (if there are any) and on buses to stop the driver kicking you off.
There are no conductors on trams. The ticket machines on trams only take coins. Trams are always packed at peak hour so you cannot reach the ticket machines. No-one pays to use the tram. The trams are losing money. Do you know why now?
Why did the government ever think privatising the transport network would ever work and what stupid company decided they could make money out of it?
Maybe if Connex had built the Glen Waverley line, bought the trains rather than having them "handed to them" by the Victorian government this would all be different. Maybe not.
Insane.