Firstly, the reality. They're sold out in Melbourne. Everywhere. They're about $400 (much cheaper than the $1000 or so expected for the PS3 but still not cheap). You'll then need another controller because playing by yourself is called "wanking" and probably the console controller too. More on that later. Oh, and a wireless network setup. And a nice TV. And games ($80 each). That'd be Zelda obviously...
After you've quit your band and sold all of your gear to get the stuff above, and rearranged your lounge room to give you the required swinging space, and locked the dog outside, you're ready to go.
Sorry... it's completely indescribable. It's like sex. You can laugh and giggle and be edumahcated about it all you like but you have no frigging idea until you do it...
So I won't bother with that. I'll just talk...
The controller is pure awesomeness. The one thing that has always killed me with modern gaming machines are all the damn buttons. And the crouched over hands together pose you have to be in to play them.
Ignoring the motion sensing just for the moment, the best thing about the controller is that it's in two parts and that it's wireless. This instantly frees you to sit however you please. Arms apart, arms by your sides, walking around the house. Arms in the air like you just do care. The controllers combined have just as much control as the millions of buttons on the PS2 remote, but it's more intuitive. Because you're hands aren't locked together onto the one remote, the separation of "left button" and "right button" is much more obvious and more easily learnt. This is helped by how different each remote is. And one of the remotes is just like a laser pointer. Finally a usable mouse on a console.
The motion sensing is excellent but on top of the separation and ease of use it's really just the extra bit of icing that finished off the cake.
In Zelda there is a bit where you get a fishing rod. I didn't have to read any instructions on how to use the rod, after having played Wii Sports for a bit I just knew you make a casting motion and it'd work. And it did.
And Zelda has monkeys.
The fact that soon you'll be able to gain access to the internet (wireless connection) and browse the web (Opera Wii), send and receive email, get automatic bug fixes downloaded overnight is a plus.
Most exciting for me is that you'll be able to visit the Wii website and (eventually) be able to download and play every Nintendo or Sega game ever created for a small fee. The website hints at around $5 to $20 each. I know emulators exist on the PC for this stuff, but the ease of use and the officialness of it all, all bundled into the one fairly cheap, software upgradable machine.
While playing it, my mind kept going back to every game I'd ever played and thinking just how amazing that game would be on the Wii. Particularly after playing Zelda, I though adventure games like Quest For Glory and Space Quest or Sam & Max would finally work on a console. The pointer works like a laser pointer and is instantly familiar, like a mouse. First person shooters would rule. Anything that needed two hands (aim, move) would be so much easier and more fun.
This really is going to be huge. Sony should be crying in the corner.
And "Wii" is a stupid name, but it's brilliant. It's Googleable. There were no "Wii" before "Wii" came along. It rhymes with "e" and so you have WiiMail and your characters are called "Mii". It isn't long before you're blinded by the pretty colours and Wii doesn't sound so strange anymore.
But...
It's not all great. I didn't experience it but I felt it coming...
The Wii remote really is like a mind reader, but like one that can only read it 70% of the time. Sometimes you'd get frustrated and you'd start to see the strings. You'd swing your baseball bat and it'd not quite do what you want. I could see that getting more annoying the more you used it. In the bowling game the ball would fade to the left all the time. That's because I'd twist my wrist as I moved up and let go of the ball. But you don't realise that at the time. You wonder why it isn't reading your mind properly.
And it still was complicated, particularly in a game like Zelda. It would take hours to get used to. Which I didn't notice on the first play, but after a while I would.
But I hadn't played a game for longer than 10 minutes in years. I played Zelda for a good hour or more. And I don't hurt a bit.
It didn't effect my RSI at all. In fact, all the twisting in different directions did it good I think. Because the remotes are separated, and because there is so much actual movement required, you don't get the usual gamers cramp.
I can kind of see how people might have put their remote through their TV, particularly in the bowling game. But they're still dickheads and it's entirely their fault.
I'm not getting one. Not yet. They'll get cheaper, and more amazing. And I know it'd get old eventually.
But still.
Wow.