One of my favourite lines recently from a delusional smoker wacked out on nicotine withdrawal was "these new smoking laws are such bullsh*t, no one ever came home after smoking too much to beat the crap out of their family."

It points a nice middle finger at the fact we do in fact have very strong liquor laws in Victoria (and presumably everywhere else in Australia) that regulate the serving of alcohol and exactly how you can drink it. These laws are in many many ways much stronger than any smoking laws.

Let's remind ourselves of these laws:

• The bartender must not serve anyone that is intoxicated.
• In many places outdoors it is illegal to walk around with an open alcohol container (effectively banning drinking outdoors in public).
• If you are drunk you can be forced to leave a venue.
• If under 18 you cannot be sold alcohol and no-one can purchase alcohol for you.

Breaking any of these laws results in large fines, especially for venues.

And yet, when was the last time you saw a bar refuse to serve someone who was "intoxicated"? I don't mean rip roaring chuck-your-guts-up-on-strangers drunk, I just mean intoxicated. I suppose that word is open to interpretation. I wouldn't necessarily say that "intoxicated" means 0.05.

If enforced to the letter, drinking laws prevent all consuming of alcohol everywhere except your own private residence and in licensed venues. It would also prevent over consumption.

We can presume that is why the laws exist. You must drink only in a licensed venue. The venue is responsible for ensuring you're drinking responsibly. Being forced to drink inside ensures noise and the potential effects of alcohol are contained. Or you can drink as much as you like at home.

The new smoking laws force you to smoke outside, where the planets natural ventilation blows your smoke away to join the atmosphere with all the other toxic crap where it belongs.

The new laws only bring smoking into line with other laws which attempt to safely regulate the public's consumption of toxic substances.

And just like alcohol laws they'll be just about as useless if they're not enforced, so you really have nothing to worry about.

Like smokers at Festival Hall...