During Falling To Pieces, Patton: "L7 made us play this song."
During The Crab Song intro, Patton: "Sweet sweet Cambridge, land of plenty, corn for everyone."
Before Midlife Crisis:
- Roddy: How're you doing up there? Good? You're so far away!
- Patton: That's the stock broker section.
- Roddy: Come downstairs.
- Patton: Hey how's Bank South doing? It's up a quarter? That's great... great...

During Chinese Arithmetic intro:
- Patton: Are you happy? Well that's good, we want to make sure that you get everything that you came here for.
- Roddy: You like this beat? Well that's good!

Before Be Aggressive:
- Roddy: Cool cool. This next song's for all the brothers in the house... you know what I mean?
- Patton: All the well hung brothers goddammit!

Before Jizzlobber:
- Bill: Hey if I took a shit in the middle of the stage and a member of the band ate it, would you guys get excited?
- Roddy: Would that be exciting?
- Bill: That didn't sound like an overwhelming response.
- Patton: I think they need a little bit of therapy. A little bit of self esteem boosting. You guys feel ok about yourselves?

After Jizzlober, during which Patton shouted "I want my MTV!", Patton: "You still want your MTV? Choke on it! Choke on it!"

After returning for encore:
- Roddy: We're gonna play a couple of songs. I forgot what the first one is... oh yeah I remember I remember, I start it. It goes like this. This is how the beginning part goes, it's really easy to play on the piano.
- Patton: It's simple.
- Roddy: It's kinda like the Carpenters, you guys like the Carpenters?
- Patton: Close to you.
- Roddy: It's kinda the inspiration for this song, it starts like this.

At the end of Everything's Ruined someone from the crowd is on stage singing into a mic?:
- Patton: Congratulations son, I think you have a bright future ahead of you.
- Bill: Nobody else here has the guts to do what that man just did.
- Patton: That's a brave brave man.
- Roddy: I wanna take him on the road!
- Patton: I might add, a very stupid man, but that's ok, because he got up here and he did it by god.

During the middle of Let's Lynch The Landlord patton yells "Dean Menta!"

Before As The Worm Turns:
- Bill: I've got a quick question. Hey Mike, you know last time when you were singing on the microphone, you keep thinking of that guy's uncircumcised dick when you're holding that mic in your mouth.
- Patton: Yeah I was kinda holding it like this you noticed, very gingerly.
- Roddy: Was he uncircumcised?
- Patton: He was very uncircumcised.
- Roddy: Wow, I did not know that.

During As The Worm Turns more people on stage, Patton: "You chase after the big fish and the little one gets away."

During A Small Victory solo, Patton: "Another dickless wonder."

After A Small Victory, Roddy: "Thanks for looking at me for an hour and a half"